


Missing Light

by Yunki_Namjun



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Blood, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Men Crying, Miscarriage, Mpreg, No Smut, Pregnancy, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Same-Sex Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:20:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25251508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yunki_Namjun/pseuds/Yunki_Namjun
Summary: Jeonghan and his husband have been trying for a baby.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Kudos: 27





	Missing Light

"I can't believe it's been two months." Jeonghan rubbed his belly. It still hadn't begun to swell but Jeonghan was couldn't help but rub it whenever he could. It was his first child, he couldn't help himself.

"I know," Seungcheol kissed his neck, "The rest of the seven months need to hurry up. I can't wait to be a dad." Seungcheol rubbed his husband's belly. "When do babies start kicking?"

"3 more months." Jeonghan kissed him, "We'll even know their gender at that point. Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Why should it matter?" Seunghcheol asked. "It's our child, I'll love it regardless." The couple hugged each other in bliss.

"I love you, Seungcheol." Jeonghan moaned, "Oh, god my head." Headaches had been the symptom that Jeonghan had experienced the most, there were others: dizziness, morning sickness, and a runny nose, although the last one was the rarest. "I need to lie down, help me to bed." Seungcheol walked him to the bedroom and laid him on the bed. 

"Do you need anything?" Seungcheol stroked his hair.

"No," Jeonghan sighed. "I'm tired. Can you lie down with me?"

"Sure." Seungcheol laid next to him, wrapping him in a hug. They cuddled each other until they went to sleep.

Jeonghan woke up in the middle of the night, he felt water flowing in between his legs and got of bed and went to the bathroom to clean himself. " _Don't worry, It's probably just pee. Maybe lots of people pee in their sleep during pregnancy."_ Jeonghan took off pants.

The heartwrenching scream woke up Seungcheol, who darted to the bathroom. "Jeonghan?! What's wrong, are you okay?"

"No," Jeonghan sobbed, "I'm not okay!" He reached for him.

"What happened?" Seungcheol helped him up and hugged him up.

"I woke up and felt wet, and I saw blood and I just knew I miscarried," Jeonghan said through a flood of tears, "The baby's gone. We're not parents."

Seungcheol stood there wide-eyed, just comforting his husband, not knowing what to say or do. He just rubbed Jeonghan's back while his shoulder was stained with tears. Jeonghan soon slowed his crying. 

"Take me back to bed." Jeonghan cried. "I want to back to sleep."

"You should take a bath first, clean up before you go back to sleep." Seugcheol continued to support him in a hug. "Come on, I'll help you so won't have to see anything."

Once Jeonghan was clean and back asleep, Seungcheol was awake staring at him. Jeonghan was carrying his child one moment and a sobbing mess upset the next. He just couldn't process it. He kissed Jeonghan's forehead and went to the kitchen. He thought about drinking two cans of beer when Jeonghan came in after him.

"Come back to bed." Jeonghan hugged him, "I need you". Seungcheol sighed but obliged, following him back to bed. The rest of the night was spent in an uneasy sleep.

In the morning, Seungcheol got breakfast ready for both of them. He decided to surprise Jeonghan with breakfast in bed as a way to cheer him up for a bit. He knew Jeonghan was going to need months to recover mentally, but he thought this would a nice gesture.

"Hey, honey," Seungcheol voice was soft and soothing. "I made you breakfast."

"Thanks," Jeonghan mumbled, "Just put it on the nightstand, and I'll eat it later." He rolled around and buried his face in a pillow. 

Seungcheol placed the plate down, before sitting down next to him. "I know this is hard. But we can work through this."

"I don't know if I can work through this, Cheolie." Jeonghan grew hysterical, "We've been trying for a child for over a year, that might have been our only chance." Jeonghan grabbed his stomach as he cried.

Seungcheol fought back tears. "We can't give up just yet, we can try... maybe if we..." Seungcheol broke down as well. The couple cried together for several minutes. "I'll schedule a doctor's appointment for you." Seungcheol kissed his forehead.

For the rest of the day, Jeonghan laid in bed. He would either cry or sleep. Seungcheol would give him anything he needed, food, water, hugs, anything. The next day was the doctor's appointment. Jeonghan was on the medical bed waiting for the doctor.

"What if they say I'm infertile? I don't know what I will do." Jeonghan pulled his knees to his face.

"It was one miscarriage." Seungcheol comforted him. "The doctor won't be able to tell us now. And family doesn't have to include only children we birth. The adoption process isn't easy, but it's there."

"I know, I know," Jeonghan said. "I'm just nervous." The doctor came in and went over the lab test.

"So, yes, you did miscarry." Jeonghan almost broke down but didn't want to be so emotional in front of the doctor. "However since this is your first, it shouldn't be a sign that you're suffering any fertility problems, and the earliest you can convince again is 2 weeks." 

Once they left they sat in the car, lost in thought. Seungcheol started the car and they drove off. Eventually, Seungcheol spoke up. "Do you think two weeks is enough to recover."

Jeonghan sighed, "It's what the doctor said. I'll be able to-"

"No, I meant mentally." Seungcheol interrupted, "I meant, will you be able to mentally carry a child."

"Probably not." Jeonghan leaned to his window.

The drive home was spent in silence. Once they got home, Jeonghan went right to bed, staring at nothing in silence. 

* * *

Seven months later, Jeonghan paced the bathroom floor. He didn't know how to feel. On one hand, if this test is negative then all the work he and Seunghceol put in for a child would be for nothing, but if it was positive then the fears of another miscarriage would follow him throughout the entire nine months. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and looked at the pregnancy test. It was positive.

Jeonghan walked up to Seungcheol and hugged without speaking. "It's positive, I'm pregnant." Jeonghan felt he should be celebrating or be just a little bit happier. Instead, he couldn't even hold himself together.

"Great," Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan's belly, "I can't wait to meet you."

"I know," Jeonghan rubbed his belly as well.

Five months later, the baby was passing the prenatal tests with flying colors. The doctor was doing an ultrasound while Seungcheol and Jeonghan held each other's hand in fear. 

"It's a boy." The doctor said. He gave them the ultrasound pictures and scheduled a later appointment.

Four more months and Jeonghan was being rushed to the hospital, his contractions shaking his entire being.

"Seung... cheol... it hurts... ow!" Jeonghan squeezed his hand so tightly. "Ow. Ow. OW!"

"I know baby, just breathe, come on a deep breath." Seungcheol did his best to him calm. In five hours, their screaming baby was handed to them.

"Hello," Jeonghan cradled the little being in his arms. "We've been waiting for so long to meet you."

"We're your parents, Seungcheol and Jeonghan." Seungcheol softly stroked the new human. "We love you."

A doctor walked in with a piece of paper, "Excuse me, but I need the name for the child."

Jeonghan was too busy admiring his son, so Seungcheol responded, "His name is Jisoo." The doctor nodded, wrote the name down, and left.

"Do you want another one?" Jeonghan asked while staring longingly at his son.

"Yeah." Seungcheol reached for his son, who grabbed one finger with his tiny hand.


End file.
